taking part in the first part of the Britmums blogging prompts again…
its taken me a while to start this post. Mostly because when i think of having a whole day to myself, i just sort of glaze over, stare into space and nothing in particular and everything comes in to my head…and it all sort of goes..blank…fzzzz…ptttt..
Just to be clear that isn't because i wouldn't want to have a whole day to myself. Er..hELLO! But i just can't think of something because i can think of so many things that would be good. Sort of like id imagine i would feel if someone asked me what i wanted for my last meal.I could come up with so many possibilities i'd probably confuse myself, shrug my shoulders and say 'er..beans on toast?'
So anyway… I have come to this conclusion. The last time i had a day to myself (well sort of a day) school hours. I went to Manchester and was part of a group of aspiring photographers who were being tutored by an experienced and fabulous pro. You can read about it here. I also did a similar day with another amazing pro photographer in the summer of 2010(here) and my feeling from both those days was that i got to USE my brain, as in I AM WOMAN. I CAN LEARN. UG.
My mind was buzzing with stuff other than…meals, school uniforms, lunches, has she eaten enough, is he being bullied, are we making the right choices….we all sing from a very similar sheet as parents and most of us often miss our successes because the kids change so much that the wonderful moment when it all dropped into place is so minute because before we know it we are slamming into a new challenge. .Parenting is a hands on, learn as you go 'cos you have to, type job. Learning something that you are just interested in because it excites you is different.
On these two days, i didn't think about parenting. I did think about my kids, obviously, especially when i often get introduced as 'yeah..she is the one with FIVE kids' :)
I had head space to think about something that is new, that i am learning, that im loving and that gave me that rush of butterflies both times when i drove to the studios to meet up with a bunch of people i had never met before. Its a scary but very very good feeling and for this mama who has worked in the same place and been doing this mothering for over ten years now, it was one heck of a rush.
And something like that is what i would do with my whole day to myself.