She smiled today…and not the 'i have wind in my belly' smiles that babies do but I was sitting on the sofa and just having a cuddle with her and she was staring at me for the longest time and then flashed me a proper little smile with a cute little dimple.  That was all it took to mist up my eyes and give me that warm and fuzzy feeling. Its that point when babies start to interact, when they are not so busy with the 'survival instinct' of eating and sleeping that they stop to look at a few faces and give a bit back. Not that she hasn't already enchanted us with her deep blue eyed stares and wonderful little faces she pulls, but today I got a big smiley hello and it melted my heart.

Isaac is so good with Matilda, he is just the right amount interested. The girls smother her and me all the time which can be a bit draining at times. But Isaac is affectionate to her without smothering her. I can't pretend that I dont worry about him though. Being the only boy in four, he has mentioned once or twice since she was born that he thought the baby was going to be boy and I cant tell you how much it crushes me. I try to big up the big brother angle, he will have his own room, he wont have to share any of his beloved trains but i do wonder how the dynamics of our family are going to play out now. 

A few weeks ago I was speaking to a friend's sister and saying this very thing and she said to me..'you need not worry, he will be a super well adjusted and in touch young man who will make someone a wonderful husband. Those are words I needed to hear.

My hopes are that Isaac and Ben develop a really close relationship and that the girls will always adore and look up to their older brother. I have experience of having an older brother myself and its something i always wanted for any girls I would have. 

But for the moment I am watching him and wondering if its going to be okay…..

the circle of life and four very happy grandkids.

🙂