But just recently I have had quite a few comments about our family…and it got me thinking…

I recently had a conversation with a lady who has twins…and asking me how many children i had, to my response of four, said 'oh so have you got 2 of each then?' and then proceeded to tell me how fortunate she was to have found an IVF consultant with a large success rate with boy/girl twins….which in itself is a erring on the oh so dodgy side i feel…but anyway…

Ive also had a few 'oh poor Isaac' type comments and "oh how is he going to cope with all those women?' and ' did you really want a boy?' and ' would you try again for a boy?' and 'at least he is the oldest i suppose?' and 'looks like Ben and Isaac will be spending a lot of weekends away together!' and probably the most stinging was ' well i think 2 boys and 2 girls would have been perfect!'

yes…really…i mean i know that most of the people who made these comments are not meaning to cause offence but I am often staggered by some people's inability to see the other person's standpoint. I would shudder at the thought of saying to a mother of boys. 'hmmm..i guess you would have really loved a girl huh?" and yes it may be true that a mother of boys would like a  girl but there is only the potential for upset if i wade in with that kind of comment dont you think? 

So it got me thinking…why is it the perceived perfect family is 'one of each' or in our case 'two of each'? Because really does it make any difference to the family? Does it mean that there are closer relationships? Does it mean that each child gets on well with each other and there is no sibling rivalry? I dont know. 

But one thing im sure of is that our family is right for us…families are not perfect, its ridiculous to think that anyhow. We all bring our different characters to the table and what is produced in the pot is the rich, harmonious, chaotic, lifeblood of what makes our families unique. We teach our kids that our family is important. That the James family is the team on which they can depend, be with, fight with and make up with. I want to teach Isaac that these gorgeous girls that are his sisters are worth sticking up for, being proud of and giving his time to. Not that they are to be ignored and disregarded because they outnumber him. The same goes for the girls. Im sure they will all irritate each other and not get on at some stage of their lives, im not trying to raise the Waltons. Conflict gives opportunity for growth provided it is dealt with right. (probably going to be a lot of 'growth' in this family then!!).  If we can teach them that it doesnt matter if they are boys or girls, if there is one of them or three, then maybe they will treat that fact of 3:1  with the disregard it deserves.

Honestly, i have probably fallen into the trap myself, looking at other people's families and thinking 'ooohh..how do you cope with 3 boys or 4 girls and wouldnt you like a girl/boy.' Im not saying im beyond it, it is easy to be duped into thinking that for all things to work 'perfectly' in a family you must have a balance of the sexes. It soooo not true…we all know it, our own experiences point to it…we all know from our own families or from others that grew up around us that having one of each doesn't mean harmony in the same way that having all the same doesn't. 

You know, when it comes down to it…all babies are precious, all babies are miracles and all babies can grow into children that will bless and enhance family life…….

So next time I hear that a new baby has been born, or in fact that someone i know is pregnant. Im going to try very hard to be thrilled for them that they have a new person coming to their family and not pay a bit of thought to wether its going to be pink or blue…..

So i realise that i said i was in a bit of 'pre-rant' mood and then posted about poor joshy and then vanished for a couple of days……

nothing behind it really other than not enough hours in the day….and some little night time parties from a certain little babba. But things are Ok, i find it a bit harder to post from the 'lappy' because i load most of my photos up to the big Mac and so they are not on the laptop….yadda yadda…

so here we are, little shot from the iphone….Matilda's usual place of comfort for travelling…

be right back

x

this is me with our family dog Josh. This picture was taken, i think, about 8 years ago. Sadly he passed away this week. He was the grand age of almost 13 and had been unwell for a while. He was a fabulous dog, full of the retriever nuttiness when he was young and then matured into a sensible and tolerant dog. He had his ears pulled and was sat on a number of times by my children and always with good temper. He was a sweet thing and we will miss him, the kids in particular. When we told them on Friday evening last week that he was gone Isaac cried and cried and said 'my heart is broken into a thousand pieces!' 

He was part of the family and will inevitably leave a large whole, not just because of his presence being gone but also the routines that exist with animals, the caring for them, walking,feeding etc. I know that my mum and dad will miss him hugely……

Goodnight joshy x

Look happy everyone 🙂

So i love….

1.  The PVR or DVR or whatever its called that records the TV with the touch of a button, kinda like sky+ but not. oh.my.goodness….it is amazing, the series link thingy..my favourite part means that we now have about 10 charlie and lola's and the same number of chuggingtons at the press of a button. No more sitting through the nonsense that is big cook, little cook or balamory…HA!! and of course there is the fact that I have ER and Brothers and Sisters on series link to…i just cant tell you how much that gives me a buzz….yeah..exciting time :p

2. Going to the cathedral this saturday and actually having a good time…took the kids without Ben, he was in a meeting which left me with four kids for the morning. So we climbed lots of steps through the tower to get to the top……the kids loved it, i think anyone else around me thought i was insane but we enjoyed it. The steps were a bit creepy and very steep but we managed it and finished it off with a coffee and cake in Oomoo…a coffee shop run by a friend of mine….

3. i love the fact that my kids can all swim, well in a manner of sorts, they are all super confident in water and love going swimming every week. It does my heart so much good. Isaac in particular is getting to be a really strong swimmer and yesterday passed another award. 🙂

4. This lovely little face….

5. Our new 'puter…a big Mac…..came in the biggest box…Poppy always says to me when she sees the 'apple' symbol. '`Who has eaten that apple?'

6. Getting to spend some time with some awesome, inspiring people….always does my heart good and inspires me.

7. Childcare exchange…a friend of mine whose little girl goes to Maisie and Poppy's nursery and I do a swop on two days a week, I have her daughter after nursery on one day and she has mine on the next till school pick up time. Sweeet…

8. Half term is just around the corner……Woop!

9. Caravanning…..we went to my cousin's little boys baptism a few weeks ago and stayed in my mum and dad's new caravan..the kids loved it…we loved it…Isaac is pestering us to buy one now. We are not quite up to the buying stage but really enjoyed our night in it….

10. Excited for this little girl, who after half term, gets her first 'introduction' afternoon at school. She is just a bit excited…